When someone betrays you, or doesn’t fulfill his or her promise to you or completely lets you down it’s very easy to feel abandoned, unloved, and confused.
You may feel angry, shocked, disbelieving that this could happen to you, you wonder how you were blind and couldn’t see the motivations of the person who harmed you. You realize you were not in control of the situation and were prey to someone’s ulterior motive, which was not to love you.
You have a choice before you: victim or creator. This fact can free you to heal from this and see that can learn something. You can allow for the feelings while accepting that you are growing from this and can embrace it as part of this growth process.
The pain of these mind states can overwhelm you, yet it is essential if you are to become free of them that you consider these ideas:
- You are not in control of what other people choose to do. Don’t take it personally that they have made a choice to let you down. Its not even about you.
- Taking full responsibility for your thoughts about it is critical to your awakening. Remember, all thoughts have power.
- Your thoughts of victimization keep you in pain and do not allow for release of this pain. Therefore, do not accept it. There is no power in victimization, you have given it away to the victimizer.
- You must accept responsibility, maybe not for what has occurred, but for the feelings which arise from it. This distinction will clarify that you cannot control what happened, but you can control how you respond to it.
- Take the focus off the other guy entirely. Let him be. Just focus on the part you played within the situation, and accept that you can learn from it and move on.
- Becoming more aware of the blocks that keep you from accepting yourself as whole and perfect is a good thing, even if you can’t see that it is helping you yet.
- Harping on what happened only keeps you in pain. Don’t tell everyone you meet, just allow that you need to stop telling the story, and get some rest from the idea that you need to justify your feelings of victimization.
- Own the vulnerable you that experienced this and give it more love. Be a parent to yourself for a moment and let the child in you experience it while you extend love to her.
You will discover that, in spite of all that seems to be happening, you are coming into greater knowledge of yourself. You are in control of the outcome, you can use this to free you from the nightmare of separation. This can trigger deep abandonment and you can use it to accept that you can never be truly abandoned by God.