In times of complete uncertainty, this is what helps me the most:
Simply do this: Be still, and lay aside all thoughts of what you are and what God is; all concepts you have learned about the world; all images you hold about yourself. Empty your mind of everything it thinks is either true or false, or good or bad, of every thought it judges worthy, and all the ideas of which it is ashamed. Hold onto nothing. Do not bring with you one thought the past has taught, nor one belief you ever learned before from anything. Forget this world, forget this course, and come with wholly empty hands unto your God.
Can you do it? Can you lay aside all false ideas about yourself and the world? Can you relinquish all ideas of lack or of littleness? Can you let go of your fear of the future? Or memories of pain of the past?
Can you have faith in One Who Knows you and knows you perfectly?
This is the great challenge of our species. Will you go on denying that there is a God who loves you totally? Will you put your faith in the temporal? Or in the eternal?
Time is a sleight of hand. It isn’t even real. You are making up time to prolong your inevitable demise. You cannot die. You are not a body. All fear stems from this one idea: that you can annihilate yourself. And it’s simply not true.
You are an eternal loving being created by an all loving God. He would never allow you to suffer pain, sickness or death. Love knows not of fear or death. He does not know of what you have made of yourself. You are perfect and whole as God created you. You could not alter yourself.
You are asleep in a dream, that is all. It is time to awaken and be free.
I have been challenged to my core. I have experienced deep losses. So have you. There is no difference, except perhaps I woke up and am aware that I am dreaming. And in this dream, the only thing I need do is let go. Forgive and be forgiven. Heal and be healed. I am in a continual healing experience that makes my little life seem insignificant. My mind is total, it is whole. It is not separate from you. The losses were only experiences of release of a self-constructed identity that could never be real anyway.
I must let go absolutely. Until then, I am nothing. I am afraid, selfish, self-seeking and dishonest. The program of healing the mind that is A Course in Miracles is also the 12 Step Program. This program has helped me immeasurably with my awakening. It brought me to my KNEES when I couldn’t find my way out of the pain. Taking inventory showed me the secret fears that I kept hidden from myself.
I can do nothing of myself. But I can let go and let God. This is so important and has gotten me through the deepest, darkest moments of my journey. I know there is a God because I have put my total trust in Him to heal me of my dream of separation from Him.
Do I have doubts? Am I uncertain about everything?
You bet. Do I know what to do when I have them? Yes. Get on my knees and ask to be shown. I don’t have to know what to do about tomorrow. I just have to know about right now. This is critical. Because all my fear has to do with the future.
I don’t know how I will pay my bills, I don’t know if I should sell my house. I don’t know if I should go back to school, find a new job, get remarried…you fill in the blank.
The kicker is this:
How can I know what to do when I don’t know who I am?
You see? The uncertainty is inherent in the fact that you don’t know who you are. So your job is to relinquish your ideas. Let go of the need to be in control. This seems like an easy directive, but try it. Do it every day.
All I really know is that if I ask for help and it will be given in the moment I most need it. I have to get really quiet, stop my questioning, let myself not know everything for a moment. In the now, I am totally uncertain, and in the uncertainty, I am free to let God direct me.
This is what total freedom is, it is the uncertainty principle. The Master Teacher always tell us to “stay uncertain”. Why? Because cause and effect are not apart. You are doing this to yourself. You cannot solve your problem, because the problem is YOU.
Quantum physics tells us one important thing, nothing is as you see it. There is only light, the physical matter you are viewing is coming from the visual cortex in your brain, and you are a projector of imagery! You are affecting everything around you. That is why it is so important that you take care of your thoughts. Every thought has an effect.
This is a bit scary at first, but when you experience the fact that everything you think is what makes up your experience of yourself, it is important to become totally self responsible. You want to be healed, because in your healing is all healing. You affect everyone and everything! It is a singular experience.
Because there is only ONE MIND…yours!
This is how it works. I wake up each morning and open the book and do the lesson. I am like a little kid who knows that my parent is with me and is taking perfect care of me, even when I am afraid. I let this parent know I am in His mind today. Everything is in His care.
This is a miraculous occurrence. I feel grounded. Loved, protected and guided.
It is a miraculous release! It has only to do with loving myself, my enemy. Serving my brother. Taking care of myself in the moment. Being good to myself and letting go of my agenda.
I don’t try to “create my day”. That is an attack on God. I let my day be led by Him, an all loving God who knows my best interests. That way, I know I am not separate and I can be happy. Totally out of control! Free to be passionate, to be blown away by love and the freedom of mind that comes with loss of control.
All control is an attack upon myself. I can stop attacking myself, surely, if I simply choose to let God be God. Then and only then can I be of service to those who still suffer. Working my 12th Step has shown me that I am not the center of the universe. That you are. You, a representative of God, are my savior and helper. I can rely on God, I can rely on your help and I can know that you are not separate from me. I know you are me.
If I harbor hateful thoughts about anyone, anyone at all, I cannot stand it. Love is the answer and forgiveness is the key. But how to forgive when it seems like someone has wronged you? Here it is: It’s you. You have that thought, you have made it up. You are projecting that onto the other guy. He is an image in your own mind.
He is You!
You are responsible for the cleanup. So, be about it. Let go your thoughts about the other guy. Has God changed His Mind about him or about you? Get on your KNEES. I love the direction, don’t go to sleep on a grievance. Take an inventory every night. Make that call!
Then ask yourself this. Who walks with me? Who is my guide, my protector, my friend?
Stay in communication with this Mind. You are being led on this journey out of time, out of space…to a place of perfect peace. And it is not in the future. It is right NOW. It is not in a distant galaxy, it is right here on Earth.
In all the years of this journey with no distance, I have continually found that my own ideas are the problem. It is where I hold onto the idea of trying to be safe here, in a world of death. People appear to be getting sick and dying. I see it around me and I am dismayed.
My freedom from this nightmare comes from knowing WHO I AM. And letting that self be totally free to be itself, in spite of what anyone else says, thinks or does.
When it’s really dark, and I can’t find my way, I get on my knees and ask to be shown. It is a miracle of grace that comes from Love itself.
In spite of your misgivings, your doubts, your fears, you are healed. Why? Because you are as God created you. You are not the alter-ego that denies it. Just stop. Because ultimately, God wins. God is love and He needs you. Yes, you.
Love is letting go of fear. Anger, doubt, faithlessness, is all part of fear. It is not different. That is why I love the 12 Steps. It forces me to look at my fear. To reveal to myself the darkest thoughts I hide from myself. Then in the relinquishment these fears, I am miraculously healed. If I don’t look at these fears, these ideas of pain, I am still protecting them, so I still want them.
I don’t like being in pain. I don’t like feeling that I am all alone here. I am sick and tired of it. If I look straight at these fears, they are released and I am undone. Doors open up. I find myself in a new place. There is hope, a guiding light within me that is totally present. It may feel a bit strange or unfamiliar, but it is totally happy and joyful. Peace is joy. I am happy for no reason at all. Happiness is natural.
It is fear that is unnatural to your state of mind. Your only job is to let this fear be undone.
Be free to be yourself. Open up. Let go of all of your ideas. All your fears of future or past experiences. What if you are completely wrong about all of it? What if you have no control over anything anyway? Ha! Just let go because it isn’t true that you have anything to say about your life. It belongs to God. It belongs to Love Itself, for that is what you are.
Just open up to let God in. He is real. He is the Answer… in all ways.
I love you and hope this helps.
Blessings!
Monica