When I first started my new business, I needed help with everything. I was in the discovery stage, and not aligned with my purpose, I didn’t even know what my business would be at all. I had a vision, but that’s all it was…a vision.I was a massage therapist with a thriving practice, but after five years, I just didn’t like the repetition. Yes, I was healing people and getting wonderful results with a limited number of clients, but something kept nudging me, a deep urge within me that kept me up at night.
The fact was, if I were to serve one person at a time in a small town in the Midwest, my life felt small. Not to belie the fact that massage therapists are amazing healers and extremely dedicated and way too underpaid. But I had other talents too. I had been a spiritual counselor, energy healer and teacher of A Course in Miracles for over 20 years, yet I didn’t know how to define my skills, or my spiritual gifts.
I wanted to expand my business and my reach exponentially, while focusing on what I do best.
But what do I do best?, I wondered. I had amazing life experience teaching and leading retreats and classes in topics related to A Course in Miracles, so I knew I could do that. But I wanted to meet people on a more personal level, to see how my gifts could serve them and help them move more quickly into their life purpose. To help them find themselves and live a fuller life so they could be happy and fulfilled. But I didn’t know how. This is what helped me the most:
I became focused on how best to serve my clients, to define what their needs are, then to see how my skills could serve those needs.
This was key. It really wasn’t about me. It was about what frustrates people, what it feels like to know you have a calling, a greater thing to do, but you can’t quite put your finger on what it is. I was going through it myself, so I could teach what I was learning: a perfect setup. I had to look at my life and see what I’ve done, where I’ve been and how I could serve people best knowing what I have come to know.
I was surprised at what I discovered. I saw that even without a university degree in counseling, I was better at it than a lot of people because of my spiritual growth and experience. I learned how to value that and to recognize that my life as an energy healer and a spiritual guide was very valuable.
I had spent over 25 years in a dedicated spiritual program. I had been through intense transformative experiences through my personal life, with three divorces, two children, losses of custody and material wealth and I was still standing. And although I wobbled a bit from life’s lessons, I truly felt more myself than ever. Devastation leads to intense growth. I saw that each stage of my life, each choice I had made catapulted me beyond a place of comfort and I had repeatedly rebelled against stagnation. I had to admit, I have a clear sense of who I am because I was willing to challenge the status quo over and over again.
I began to see myself as a transformative agent. I didn’t even know what that really meant, but it didn’t matter. I am a trail blazer and I reinvent myself every few years. I have struggled, tried many things, failed at some and survived them all. One thing that really works for me is following my inner guide, which began after coming out of depression at 30 years old. That’s when I found my spiritual path. From that moment on, I stayed connected to my inner wisdom team, who are always available. If I listened, got quiet, wrote things down they were communicating to me, I was golden. Things would just appear at the right moment when I listened to what to do, where to go, and take the next step.
Was it easy? Heck no!
It was a constant release of things I didn’t need or want any more. It was really challenging and sometimes, way too hard. Like when I turned 40, I left a comfortable home in suburban New York to pursue my spiritual path, disrupting my family and my entire life. I knew I had to do this or I would continue to suffer because staying “safe” wasn’t safe at all. It was painful and although the choice seemed extremely risky, I just knew I had to do it.
I chose growth and kept searching and finding my way. The focus of my life has become a very simple idea and I’m committed to it: to “Know Thyself”. So, that’s what I bring to the table when I meet with people who are looking for help. It’s as simple as knowing what I know from my own life’s discoveries.
If you are struggling with finding your purpose, it could be that you are just not seeing what amazing abilities you have developed over the course of your lifetime. You may not value them because they are so natural to you.
Yet, they are very valuable to someone else. They need them and they need you, specifically.
There are those who you are meant to serve and they are waiting for you to show up. Until you do, they stay lost.
When I really embraced this idea, I realized, I’d better get moving. I hired a business/blogging coach, then took a blogging course on-line, and then signed up with a holistic coaching program for healers. Then I launched my business and let everything happen without stress or strain…well, not exactly.
I was completely broke when I began this new business, my husband had just left which left me with thousands in debt. I didn’t have a roof over my head, I had left the state, closed my massage practice and started over with nothing, moved back to the East Coast, not knowing where I really wanted to land. I had my car payment and debts to meet each month, with no income, no job, no friends, and no clients.
Yet, in the midst of letting my old life go, I stayed focused and got the help I needed. Rooms to stay in, money, people, and support kept coming. I stayed open to receiving and accepted with gratitude all that came my way.
So, if I can do it, so can you.
- Here’s the thing, when you take the attention off of you, and focus on what people around you are struggling with the most, what keeps them up at night, this opens a door of possibility.
Then ask yourself, what skills, insights, spiritual gifts, talents, or just life experience do you have that could help someone with that problem.
- In other words, what problem have you had, that you learned how to solve through your life experience?
Don’t forget your personal relationships, like if you are a parent, or a partner to someone, you have developed skills that you probably just take for granted. I realized I was a great mother, compassionate, loving, able to forgive and stay committed to my inner growth during those formative years. I didn’t realize what a huge gift that was to my children and myself.
- What qualities do other people compliment you on? What do they see in you that you don’t see in yourself.
For instance, when a friend said she thought I was a “natural” at healing, I was so surprised, I didn’t even value my abilities. I thought everyone was like me and my self-doubt was huge. But, I just kept challenging my beliefs, and now I am a master of changing beliefs.
- When you are just getting started, you need to ask for help.