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Monica Dubay

Monica Dubay

How to create your new life in 8 steps

OK, so when life throws a big challenge your way, such as a break up of a marriage, (which is just what I went through in the past two months), there are some things to do to keep your head above water.

After my husband announced he wanted to split up, I went through very intense emotions and then realized I simply had to accept this challenge.  How?  Well, this is what is helping the most:

  1. Focus on me.  Be clear about what I want, because my life’s goals are not dependent upon anyone else.  Period.  I was amazed at this, because the relationship seemed to be important to me and I was so centered on being together.
  2. Let go of trying to make anything work.  Stay in the moment and allow the rug to be pulled out from under me so much that I would not be able to land in any familiar territory.  Use the experience to grow!
  3. When anger and indignation arise, allow it, and feel it totally.  Then ask for help to see it differently. The ego mind wants to justify its pain, but you deserve better.
  4. Watch my thoughts and pay attention to the voice inside my head.  I have the mind training of the Course in Miracles deeply embedded in my mind and every lesson helps me.  Always and in all circumstances.  Here’s an important one:  I can give up this world I see, (my perception of it), by giving up attack thoughts. Letting my attack thoughts go made me see that I need love now, and attack thoughts do not feel like love.
  5. Ask for help from absolutely everyone I know.  I told them the truth and what happened was so miraculous.  I got money, a place to live, and moved to my home state within 6 weeks. This was not my plan, but once I arrived, I began to realize that I feel absolutely myself here.  The familiar setting, the lakes, the ocean, the mountains and especially the familiar faces all soothe my soul.
  6. Keep open to new ideas and possibilities. I still don’t have work, but I feel confident that I will be led to the exact right place where I can be most helpful.  I don’t know what that looks like yet, so I focus on the feeling of being useful and happy with the work I am doing.  Everyone around me has some great ideas and each one is something I will stay open to and explore.
  7. Keep the faith that God is perfectly seeing me through every aspect of this change. I am taking time off from a very busy life and finally getting some down time.  This is important to let myself heal, to give myself time to open up and allow my beliefs about my life, who I am, and what I want to shift right now.  I don’t have to have the answers.  They come one day at a time.
  8. Follow my heart and trust.  Ask for the guidance to come through in obvious ways so I don’t miss anything.  I visualize myself really happy and then notice what I’m doing.  Happiness is a state of mind and I can feel that at any given moment.  It isn’t about what I am doing, it is about me accepting and loving myself right now exactly as I am. Even with all my insecurities and uncertainties.

Hope this helps you as much as it is me right now!

Monica

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