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Monica Dubay

Monica Dubay

How to Crush Self-doubt When You Are Starting Your New Business

Never despise small beginnings, the giant oak tree slumbers in the acorn, the bald eagle waits patiently in the egg. If you are consistent, and if you commit to put in the time, you will become an expert, and it is your expertise that is the doorway to your financial success. Derek Walker  3 Secrets To Financial Success
What is the hardest thing about starting a new business? Doubt that you can do it.
What makes you feel smaller than small? Doubt that you are not enough.
What takes you down faster than any amount of criticism from other people? Doubt that you should even try to do something different.
These little beliefs make you feel it isn’t worth the risk to do something big, to start a new business and put yourself on the map. They can be debilitating. I know, I have had to deal with them.  The tiny voice inside that says, “oh just go get a job” or “this should be easier”, and then “who do you think you are?”  Ever heard that one?
So, in my business, I specialize in targeting these nasty little voices, these self-defeating and often menacing thoughts that surface just when I am least expecting it. When I started this new business of spiritual life coaching, I made a decision to stick with it, to boldly pursue my life’s dream and I am beginning to have some success.  I have new clients, I’m doing workshops and people are having breakthroughs in their lives and businesses from working with me.  But it wasn’t like this at first.
 
In the beginning, I had more doubts that I was on the right track. This was before I signed up clients, before I gave my first workshop.  That’s when the doubts really surfaced.  I had to get to the bottom of what was actually going on. I know enough about the subconscious, the little voices of fear and doubt, in fact that is primarily what I help people with, to release these self-limiting patterns.  When doubt comes up, it’s usually because you are making a bold move, are embarking on a new action and it brings up all your fear and doubt about whether you should do it. The little voices come from your conditioning, from your childhood, when you did something and regretted it.  Perhaps you stood out, took a risk and someone made fun of you.  Maybe you failed at something you really wanted to do and it pained you and you never forgot it.
Doubt can be healthy.  It can shed some light on a path you may want to take and when you feel that tension in the stomach, and you question whether it’s the right move, your body gives you that signal.  It’s good to check in, see what you’re doing and make sure it will further you on your path. You have to stay focused to succeed.
But when you are clearly on target, are taking a step to move forward and to align yourself with your life’s purpose, and the doubts come, you have to release them.  Why? Doubt can truly kill a wonderful idea faster than fear. There are many moments where I doubt myself, and I talk to a trusted friend and hear “you are so inspiring, you are taking a risk, moving forward and I admire your courage”.
I need to hear that sometimes.  We all do.  Because doubt is a killer, it negates the light and the idea that everything is possible.  Every idea has value.  You can’t kill an idea. Ideas are inspiration and when they are pursued, help us all to change, to grow and to be better than we imagined.
 
Here are some important reminders of how to stop doubting yourself.
 
  • When you have an inspiring idea, don’t tell everyone. Don’t listen to other people’s opinion…why? Because most people don’t have the courage to try new things.  They just want to be comfortable, they are looking for the easiest way out.
  • We business builders and dreamers are different. We thrive on inspiration.
  • Our ideas are what us wake up at 5am, meditate, get in touch with ourselves and act upon the inner direction we receive and make connections.
  • We are in touch with our real Self and this is what makes us joyful and willing to work all hours writing blogs, marketing, serving our clients and getting in front of as many people as possible to talk about our new business.
  • We are the leaders. We set an example and we keep on keeping on. Even great leaders have moments of doubt, probably more than anyone else because we are willing to stand up and shine our light on the world.
  • We are bold and committed. We are willing to face the music and hit wrong notes sometimes, that’s what happens when we improvise, we take a risk. Not all notes sound wonderful, every solo isn’t perfect.
  • We practice hard. We try new things, and experiment and give it our all.
  • We don’t listen to doubt, or fight it. Like fear, we embrace it, and do it anyway.
  • We learn to have faith in spite of great odds. We are resolved to keep going.
  • Only 8% of people ever stick with resolutions. But we do.  We are the odd ones, the crazy ones who believe in love, in possibility.  We love ourselves enough to fail and fail again.
  • We move with the guiding force, the inner direction that inspires us. It’s bigger than our little doubting self.  Way bigger.
  • We keep going because it feels good to be connected to people, to be serving in some authentic way that is unique to us.
When you are faced with doubt, here’s what I would say to you:
No one can do what you can do.  You are unique and have a very important role to play on the Earth at this time that no one else can fill.  It’s yours and only you can do it the way you do.  You are here to serve certain people and if you give up, they don’t get what they need. So don’t let your doubt keep them from their dreams.
I truly hope this helps you today to free yourself from those doubts.
I remain ever faithful,
Monica Dubay
 
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