Mar 262018

Do you wake up at night in a panic, feeling you’ve got to make a move, but you’re paralyzed?

Do you feel there’s something wrong with you because you’re not excited to keep doing what you’ve been doing?

Chances are you’ve reached an upper limit problem.

What’s the upper limit problem?

The upper limit problem was discussed in a book by Gay Hendricks, called The Big Leap.  It’s when you find yourself bored, dissatisfied, or in serious discomfort, and yet you can’t quite put your finger on why.

You lash out, you blame others, you get sick, you have accidents (minor, hopefully), you pick fights with your partner, you have a financial setback, your car breaks down.  These are all symptoms of the upper limit problem.

There are 3 blunders you could be making that indicate you have an upper limit problem.

Blunder #3…You are allowing your subconscious fear to run your life.

Stop.  Sit down.  Get out a piece of paper.  And write this sentence…

If it weren’t for (blank), I could be doing what I really want to do.

Just write it out, fill in the blank.  Let it come to you.

It’s simple, really. But you have to do it, because if you don’t, you will just stay stuck.

Fear is self-created, and when we listen to it, we allow it to run our behavior.  Entrepreneurs are especially vulnerable, because they are so creative, they are sensitive and have a lot of self-judgment.  They know they are amazing, talented, creative but their ego gives them a lot of trouble.

Sound familiar?

So, notice the fear and allow it to show you where you are holding back.

What now?

To really get to the heart of it, admit the fear, write it all down.  Take time to address it and let the fear go crazy for a while, so you can see where it leads.

Now, write this sentence next.

If I followed my heart and took this leap, this might happen….(write it out).

The outcome could be anything…loss, humiliation, failure, people would judge you, you would let someone down, you’d feel foolish, etc.

What’s the worst that could happen? Go wild… you’d be out of work forever, homeless on the streets without a penny to your name, and your kids would never get to college.

Write it all down.  I mean it.

Now you have it staring at you in black and white.

Take it to the absolute worst outcome.  Everyone would reject me…my family would leave me…I’d be the laughing stock of my friends if I failed.  Now laugh.  Really.  (This is where you get to see how your doubts rule you.)

So, now…get a little real here.  Imagine yourself doing what you really want to do.

I beg you to please write this:

What if I were to do what I really want to do with my life?

You could be living the life you really want…what would that look like, feel like?  You are successful at it, you are really happy that you took that leap, and everyone you serve is also happier.  You have found your real purpose, your business soars, your ideal clients find you and appreciate you.

I want you to imagine its two years from now…and it’s all working out.

See yourself in a movie…where you ARE doing those activities, being that person, feeling the feelings of its happening! You say this to yourself:  I’m living my life as I really wanted to…I followed my heart and it wasn’t easy, but I didn’t give up.

Now really give this time to resonate with you.

Don’t judge yourself for having this “fantasy”.  Brilliant minds do this all the time.  Let inspiration do its thing. Stop everything and let your mind explore your idea in quiet.  Just do this:

Visualize it and feel it.  10-15 minutes at least.

This really works if you will just do it.

But if you’re still blocked, it might be because of Blunder #2…which is:

Blunder #2…You don’t think you’re qualified to step up into the next level.  You listen to your doubts.

Self-doubt is such a killer.

It stops people from even trying to embark on their dreams.  For years, people stay in this muck of self-judgment thinking they need more training or more money, or …you name it.

I know, I was there.  I was a massage therapist, a high level energy healer and spiritual teacher, but I spent all my time fixing people’s back pain and headaches.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  It was very satisfying and I loved it…till my hands started hurting and I was so exhausted. (By the way, if you’re in pain, please get massage, or some kind of real help if you’re suffering, there are wonderful healers out there.)

Yet, I knew there was more and I had to listen to myself and finally take myself seriously.

So if you’re thinking you don’t have what it takes.  Stop right there.

Who says?

You can do anything you want if you truly put your mind to it, do what needs to be done, and never quit.  NEVER quit.

Maybe you need a good talkin’ to… from someone who cares about you, who knows you’re capable, smart, worthy, and crazy enough to take a giant leap out of discomfort and into the unknown.  Sure, you don’t know how…no one does when she’s jumping off a cliff.

Find that person who gets you, who doesn’t judge you, who has taken the big leap and is living their dream.  Make sure it’s not someone who listens to self-doubt or fear.

I mean it.  Don’t ask the wrong person.  It’s crucial.

Ask someone who has made their dream happen for themselves and get their advice.

Most people love to share their success stories and how they went from someone with an idea to actually making it happen.

And run it by them.  Just lay it out straight and tell them your big dream…you’re gonna change the world with your idea!

I know you are…so pay attention and find that person in your life whom you admire. Ask them to spend 30 minutes with you.  Interview them.  Find out how they did it. And let them advise you.

You won’t regret it unless you do nothing and pretend you never had the idea in the first place.  What a lie…but lots of people stay there and don’t make a move because they make the BIGGEST blunder of all.

Which is…

Biggest Blunder #1….You don’t get the support you need to carry it out. You think you can do it on your own.

I didn’t know what I needed when I was doing massage and didn’t have a plan or even a clue how to get from there to where I am now.

I needed support. And I looked, and kept looking.  And kept writing what I knew about love, extending love.  That’s what I kept telling myself, which is true, but…because I didn’t listen to myself and pay attention to what I wanted, how was that loving me?

Finally, I knew something had to change. And it was me.

So I hired a coach.

Then I met someone who said she knew someone who has a program for healers and therapists and people just like me.  So I looked her up, and followed her videos and free trainings. For a year!

Then, when I was really desperate, I sent her an email and said, I think I want to work with you, cause I’m still healing shoulders and I know there’s a bigger plan for me.

She called me back the next day, spent an hour with me…and listened.  Really listened to me and she got me.  She said, you’ve been hiding out and you’re an amazing mind healer. My program is designed for you.

Wow…that was cool.

I said yes to her offer and made an investment, (which someone literally gave me because I was completely broke at the time) …and it changed my life entirely.

Now I have a thriving coaching business helping people take their big leap!

But the cool thing is, I get to be myself and when I’m coaching people, I’m so happy. I love my life now.

I work really deeply in the mindset with my clients because mindset is 90% of the game. If you don’t change how you think, you will never change your life.

I mean never.

I came out of depression by changing my thoughts more than 25 years ago and within a few months I felt fearless for the first time in my life.  My whole life has been dedicated to healing the mind.

Of course it’s what I needed to offer in my coaching business. Duh!

But I didn’t know how until I found my coach.  I needed support. I had no clue how to get it going.  And there was a lot of crap in the way because it was, well… a big idea!

The bigger the idea, the bigger the pushback from your ego and the more fear you will have to release.

Sorry, that’s just how it is.

Luckily, there is hope!  And help.

What about you?

Could you stop making excuses and thinking you don’t deserve it, or think you’re supposed to know how when you don’t?


Perhaps you’re thinking… maybe later.

Then, I’m sorry…nothing is going to change for you.


You will probably just flounder in that denial for another year or two, or ten or forever.

That’s what most people do.  No big deal… have at it.

I get it. I had no idea how I could make it work either.

But, when the moment came for me…as I hope it is coming for you right now…where I was so lost and I finally admitted it…I made a simple choice and said yes.

Guess what?


Don’t wait, do it now… contact me for your free 60 minute Mind Alignment call.

I am ready to help you release that stuck energy and finally begin to change your life.

No obligation, just spend an hour getting some clarity on what you need and how you can move out of that fear and create your life the way you want it. You deserve it!

But no one can help you if you say not now, no…I’m not ready.

Guess what? You’ll never be ready…so stay right there, do nothing and watch other people move on through their fear and create a new life for themselves.

And you can wallow in your pain some more.

You’re not like other people. Your story is real, it’s sad and it’s tragic.

And it’s all yours. I’ve heard them all.

No money, no support, nobody loves you, you’re afraid…blah, blah…

One of my clients is on disability and she signed up to work with me for six months!  She is committed and she inspires me every week because she is having breakthroughs like you can’t believe.

And she has a debilitating disease and she doesn’t let it stop her.  And she gets it.  Really gets it.  She is all in.

She found a way to make it work and so can you, if you would just do this one thing.

BUT…I can’t make you do it.

I can just keep offering and throwing you that life line so you can break through your upper limit problem today!

People who are successful make investments in themselves. 

They know it takes hard work, they know it takes commitment, money and work to turn their lives around.

So, how about you?   What’s it going to be?

Click this link to schedule your free Mind Alignment Call:   Or email me at

I’m rooting for you and I know you have what it takes.  You just need a little support.  My whole business and life purpose is to help people like you become willing to put yourself first for a change.  Do it now.   You won’t regret it.

Shine on!


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Mar 292017

Why set goals for your new business?

Answer:  You must know what you want in order to be able to measure your results.

If you want to have a successful  business, that is.
If you don’t have a plan, you will flounder, it’s guaranteed. Waste time, stay distracted and unfocused.  And stagnate…

That’s where I was in the beginning, exploring my options and wondering what to do next. I had an idea, but I didn’t know how to bring it to fruition.  Is this you?
Here are the crucial first steps that gave me the start I needed.
First…I hired a coach. Some coaches think they can be a coach without having one themselves. Does that ever work?  No. Because without your commitment to your own growth, you will not attract others who want coaching. Simple.
• My coach helped me change all that, she really understood who I was and where I was stuck. After I hired her, everything changed.
• I began by visualizing what I wanted the business to become, with the financial goals first. What kind of money did I want to earn in 3 months? The first year? I set a big money goal for the year and put it on a big poster and hung it up in my bedroom.

I set the specific goals I would have to reach to make that money. Once I got clear about this, I could measure how I did.

I listed my specific gifts and skills and came up with a mission and vision for the business. It wasn’t that hard, but very important. Without a mission and vision, you will lack clarity and not attract clients.

Second, I needed foundational pieces, like how I would work with people, what business structure and strategy I wanted to use for getting clients. I needed to start earning right away because I had no other income at the time so I was committed and determined. Yet focused.
I got clear about one thing—that my business was important for me and those I serve.  I was born to do this and I stuck to my own vision.  I learned to value what I bring to the table and honor myself for all the years of work on myself and others. The recognition of my own value is vital to my confidence and I love how I help people find their own vision for their life too.
Third, I  set my 90 day goals. But I had to focus on three goals only. This was hard for me, I had about 10 goals in the beginning. I was overwhelmed when I looked at them and didn’t know where to begin.  After narrowing it down to  just three goals, I determined the action steps needed for each goal: I wrote out the steps I needed to take. I worked on one goal until it was done, then I’d do the next one.

Why is it important to set goals?

Without structure, we  easily lose focus and become distracted. Social media for instance, can be very distracting…keeping us from doing the work.

I learned to turn off distractions, set one goal for the day and do only that. Setting one goal and the action steps for the day made me focus completely. It made a huge difference to know where I was going with a plan for getting there. I couldn’t do everything at once, just one thing at a time.
Lo and behold, it started to work.
Within a few months, I had a website with pages that describe who I am and what I do. I got very clear about my ideal clients. I set terms for who I wanted to serve and became clear about this.

I made a list of their qualities and drew a big circle in my mind and included only those people who met those criteria. I visualized them coming toward me and willing to pay my fee.

Wow, this was powerful.  Yes, I did the footwork. I went to many networking meetings. I talked about what I do and how I help people. I signed up clients and began to work with them and watched them transform. My confidence grew and I felt happy and excited.

It worked!

I got out of my head and out of bed early. I meditated every morning and asked for help from within and listened.

You can too.

Simplify your life. Decide on 3 goals only.  If you need help, get a coach who is focused and has clients who are having breakthroughs.

Love yourself more.  Stay determined to succeed.  You cannot fail if you believe that life is about growth, not struggle.

You and those you serve are important!

I hope this helps you today…don’t forget to leave a comment. I love to respond.

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Sep 012016

Do you want to be wealthy?  Does the very word turn your stomach?  Do you know why? You have money blocks!

woman money 300Your mind blocks you from allowing wealth into your life if you think thoughts like:  I don’t deserve to be wealthy, If I have more than others they will judge me, or I’m not good with money.

How about this lie?  I would have to work too hard to be wealthy…that’s a good one.

When you believe that thought, you are not going to be wealthy no matter how many affirmations you state.

What is wealth?  My definition of wealth is simple:

You are wealthy when you have enough money to do what you love and fulfill your purpose without having to work too hard!

What do you believe about money?

In the Release Your Money Blocks Master Class, I uncover and release 21 beliefs energetically forever from your subconscious.  After that, you naturally begin to embrace wealth into your life.  Wealth and abundance is who you fundamentally are.

Abundant wealth is knowing you are here for a purpose and are fulfilling it with enthusiasm while becoming free of false beliefs.

Affirmations are useless if you don’t believe you deserve wealth. Believing you are already deserving, requires a fundamental change in your perception of who you are.

You may know plenty of people who have a lot of money, but are not free of fear, so they are not happy.

Being wealthy has to do more with our beliefs about ourselves than how much money we have.

Until I uncovered and released these 21 specific beliefs, nothing changed.

After I found this clearing technique and held some live workshops, and my clients all raved about their experience about how it affected their lives, I had to pay attention.

That’s why I decided to offer this Master Class at such a reasonable introductory price. Click here to find out more.

All 21 beliefs about money are released in the 2 hour Release Your Money Blocks Master Class.  Once you listen to it, you can free yourself of other beliefs that may come up later on.  You can listen to the Master Class as many times as you like.

My life’s goal is to free people from lack and fear entirely, so I will do whatever I can to help you become free.  I want you to fulfill your life’s purpose and you can’t do that if you stay in lack or fear.

I know because I was there and I found my way out.

Your life is important, there are people waiting for you to embrace your power, so you can help them! Don’t waste time by believing you can’t have wealth.

Click here to access your financial freedom… it’s a powerful release and I’ve made it so simple for you; all you need do is listen! Click below to read more.

Free Yourself Products
















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Jul 102016

“If you desire something, and then deny that you desire it, that’s cowardice and spiritual laziness. And what’s more, it’s a lie.”

Edwene Gaines, The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity

Do you set goals for yourself in your life and business?  I never liked to, and thought it was greedy.  I shied away from issues of money because I thought it wasn’t spiritual.

I just wanted to heal people, I thought.

Now my business is soaring.  How?

I stopped lying to myself, like Edwene Gaines says.

I got honest and set a financial goal every month and I learned something I didn’t realize about myself…

I love a challenge!

Each month that I set a money goal, I open up to new ideas that generate that much and I get freaking inspired.

I wonder:  how many people can I reach?

I see myself serving more and more people to help them meet and surpass their goals.

I love to stretch my vision, offer something new, a bold reach beyond what I’ve done so far. I love being in the ‘zone’ where anything is possible.

So, a little while ago, I did just that.

I’d been wanting to offer a workshop I had given many times live as a tele-class.  It’s called Release Your Money Blocks and Find Financial Freedom.

My trusted virtual assistant knew what to do, but I wanted to do it within 10 days, and it usually takes about a month to set it up.

Well, I’m never one to dilly-dally, so I just went crazy and did it.

What a whirlwind!

I wrote all the emails and the content in 7 days.

Each day I faced a new unknown task.  Silly me, I just kept going.

Even if it failed, I figured, I would learn so much just by going for it.

And yet, to my surprise…it worked!

A bunch of people signed up, and after the event, I had a recording of the class.

The class was powerful, not only the content, but also because I did something new.  I loved the positive feedback from the participants.

Honestly, I didn’t realize how effective the content truly was, until I heard the responses.

Everyone spoke about how powerful it was because the false money beliefs we cleared during the class were ones that have plagued them for years.

They just didn’t know what to do about it.

That’s the thing.  I do know.  I teach you a simple process of release and give you a workbook that shows you how to do it yourself.  As a bonus, I also give you a guided meditation that heals your mind of limiting ideas.

It’s all yours when you sign up and take the workshop.

So, be on the lookout for this workshop.  It’s only 2 hours long, and it will be offered for a limited time.

Why should you care? Well, if you already have all the money you want and all the business you can handle, then great.

But if not, you just might need this workshop.

What will happen to you?  If you don’t take it, nothing, you can stay right where you are.

But if you do decide you need help, imagine this:

Your beliefs, deeply held beliefs that you absorbed just by being in your family, will be gone and you will feel like a new person.

The only question you should ask yourself right now is:

Are you ready for a dramatic shift in your money consciousness ?

Imagine being wide open to the abundance of the universe.  Your shame and fear around money, is just, well… gone!

You embrace your calling with clarity and get support for fulfilling it. Ideas come to you out of the blue that change how you do your business.

You simply stretch yourself and reach for the stars!

Then, watch how your life changes.

All the participants said it catapulted them into fearlessness and they got totally inspired.

Some started new businesses, some quit their jobs and found new ones, one met a man of her dreams, and many were approached by people out of nowhere with business opportunities.

And doors opened.

My business coach featured me on her newsletter just because I got all uppity.

I like being a winner.

Don’t you?

So, set your goal, move into a whole new life of freedom from financial concerns, and know you are worth it.

Life is an adventure, right?

But if you’re afraid to make a big splash, maybe it’s time to get a little crazy and help change someone’s life today.

Isn’t that why you’re here?

It just might be your life that changes.

Love and blessings!




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May 182016

When I first started my new business, I needed help with everything.  I was in the discovery stage, and not aligned with my purpose, I didn’t even know what my business would be at all. I had a vision, but that’s all it was…a vision.

I was a massage therapist with a thriving practice, but after five years, I just didn’t like the repetition.  Yes, I was healing people and getting wonderful results with a limited number of clients, but something kept nudging me, a deep urge within me that kept me up at night.

The fact was, if I were to serve one person at a time in a small town in the Midwest, my life felt small. Not to belie the fact that massage therapists are amazing healers and extremely dedicated and way too underpaid.

But I had other talents too.  I had been a spiritual counselor, energy healer and teacher of A Course in Miracles for over 20 years, yet I didn’t know how to define my skills, or my spiritual gifts.

I wanted to expand my business and my reach exponentially, while focusing on what I do best.

But what do I do best?, I wondered.

I had amazing life experience teaching and leading retreats and classes in topics related to A Course in Miracles, so I knew I could do that.  But I wanted to meet people on a more personal level, to see how my gifts could serve them and help them move more quickly into their life purpose.  To help them find themselves and live a fuller life so they could be happy and fulfilled.

But I didn’t know how. This is what helped me the most:

I became focused on how best to serve my clients, to define what their needs are, then to see how my skills could serve those needs.

This was key. It really wasn’t about me.

It was about what frustrates people, what it feels like to know you have a calling, a greater thing to do, but you can’t quite put your finger on what it is. I was going through it myself, so I could teach what I was learning: a perfect setup.

I had to look at my life and see what I’ve done, where I’ve been and how I could serve people best knowing what I have come to know.

I was surprised at what I discovered.

I saw that even without a university degree in counseling, I was better at it than a lot of people because of my spiritual growth and experience. I learned how to value that and to recognize that my life as an energy healer and a spiritual guide was very valuable.

I had spent over 25 years in a dedicated spiritual program.  I had been through intense transformative experiences through my personal life, with three divorces, two children, losses of custody and material wealth and I was still standing.  And although I wobbled a bit from life’s lessons, I truly felt more myself than ever.  Devastation leads to intense growth.

I saw that each stage of my life, each choice I had made catapulted me beyond a place of comfort and I had repeatedly rebelled against stagnation.  I had to admit, I have a clear sense of who I am because I was willing to challenge the status quo over and over again.

I began to see myself as a transformative agent.  I didn’t even know what that really meant, but it didn’t matter. I am a trail blazer and I reinvent myself every few years.  I have struggled, tried many things, failed at some and survived them all.

One thing that really works for me is following my inner guide, which began after coming out of depression at 30 years old.  That’s when I found my spiritual path.  From that moment on, I stayed connected to my inner wisdom team, who are always available.  If I listened, got quiet, wrote things down they were communicating to me, I was golden.

Things would just appear at the right moment when I listened to what to do, where to go, and take the next step.

Was it easy? Heck no!

It was a constant release of things I didn’t need or want any more.  It was really challenging and sometimes, way too hard. Like when I turned 40, I left a comfortable home in suburban New York to pursue my spiritual path, disrupting my family and my entire life. I knew I had to do this or I would continue to suffer because staying “safe” wasn’t safe at all. It was painful and although the choice seemed extremely risky, I just knew I had to do it.

I chose growth and kept searching and finding my way.  The focus of my life has become a very simple idea and I’m committed to it:  to “Know Thyself”.

So, that’s what I bring to the table when I meet with people who are looking for help. It’s as simple as knowing what I know from my own life’s discoveries.

If you are struggling with finding your purpose, it could be that you are just not seeing what amazing abilities you have developed over the course of your lifetime.  You may not value them because they are so natural to you.

Yet, they are very valuable to someone else.  They need them and they need you, specifically.

There are those who you are meant to serve and they are waiting for you to show up. Until you do, they stay lost.

When I really embraced this idea, I realized, I’d better get moving. I hired a business/blogging coach, then took a blogging course on-line, and then signed up with a holistic coaching program for healers.  Then I launched my business and let everything happen without stress or strain…well, not exactly.

I was completely broke when I began this new business, my husband had just left which left me with thousands in debt. I didn’t have a roof over my head, I had left the state, closed my massage practice and started over with nothing, moved back to the East Coast, not knowing where I really wanted to land.  I had my car payment and debts to meet each month, with no income, no job, no friends, and no clients.

Yet, in the midst of letting my old life go, I stayed focused and got the help I needed.  Rooms to stay in, money, people, and support kept coming. I stayed open to receiving and accepted with gratitude all that came my way.

So, if I can do it, so can you.

  • Here’s the thing, when you take the attention off of you, and focus on what people around you are struggling with the most, what keeps them up at night, this opens a door of possibility.

Then ask yourself, what skills, insights, spiritual gifts, talents, or just life experience do you have that could help someone with that problem.

  • In other words, what problem have you had, that you learned how to solve through your life experience?

Don’t forget your personal relationships, like if you are a parent, or a partner to someone, you have developed skills that you probably just take for granted.  I realized I was a great mother, compassionate, loving, able to forgive and stay committed to my inner growth during those formative years.  I didn’t realize what a huge gift that was to my children and myself.

  • What qualities do other people compliment you on? What do they see in you that you don’t see in yourself.

For instance, when a friend said she thought I was a “natural” at healing, I was so surprised, I didn’t even value my abilities. I thought everyone was like me and my self-doubt was huge.  But, I just kept challenging my beliefs, and now I am a master of changing beliefs.

  • When you are just getting started, you need to ask for help.

Your spiritual support is always there. You have to invite them into your awareness, you have to link up with them and become clear about what you want. They can’t tell you that, it’s up to you to discover it, but once you make your decision to really embrace your purpose, life will support you with the help you need.

I know you can do it, if you want some help, you can always ask someone who has been through it.  Or hire a coach and begin to embrace the moment of opportunity right now.

In love and light,

Monica Dubay

Founder, Heal Your Mind Heal Your Life


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Apr 132016

Never despise small beginnings, the giant oak tree slumbers in the acorn, the bald eagle waits patiently in the egg. If you are consistent, and if you commit to put in the time, you will become an expert, and it is your expertise that is the doorway to your financial success.   Derek Walker  3 Secrets To Financial Success


What is the hardest thing about starting a new business?

Doubt that you can do it.

What makes you feel smaller than small?

Doubt that you are not enough.

What takes you down faster than any amount of criticism from other people?

Doubt that you should even try to do something different.

These little beliefs make you feel it isn’t worth the risk to do something big, to start a new business and put yourself on the map. They can be debilitating.

I know, I have had to deal with them.  The tiny voice inside that says, “oh just go get a job” or “this should be easier”, and then “who do you think you are?”  Ever heard that one?

So, in my business, I specialize in targeting these nasty little voices, these self-defeating and often menacing thoughts that surface just when I am least expecting it.

When I started this new business of spiritual life coaching, I made a decision to stick with it, to boldly pursue my life’s dream and I am beginning to have some success.  I have new clients, I’m doing workshops and people are having breakthroughs in their lives and businesses from working with me.  But it wasn’t like this at first.

In the beginning, I had more doubts that I was on the right track. This was before I signed up clients, before I gave my first workshop.  That’s when the doubts really surfaced.  I had to get to the bottom of what was actually going on.

I know enough about the subconscious, the little voices of fear and doubt, in fact that is primarily what I help people with, to release these self-limiting patterns.  When doubt comes up, it’s usually because you are making a bold move, are embarking on a new action and it brings up all your fear and doubt about whether you should do it.

The little voices come from your conditioning, from your childhood, when you did something and regretted it.  Perhaps you stood out, took a risk and someone made fun of you.  Maybe you failed at something you really wanted to do and it pained you and you never forgot it.

Doubt can be healthy.  It can shed some light on a path you may want to take and when you feel that tension in the stomach, and you question whether it’s the right move, your body gives you that signal.  It’s good to check in, see what you’re doing and make sure it will further you on your path. You have to stay focused to succeed.

But when you are clearly on target, are taking a step to move forward and to align yourself with your life’s purpose, and the doubts come, you have to release them.  Why?

Doubt can truly kill a wonderful idea faster than fear.

There are many moments where I doubt myself, and I talk to a trusted friend and hear “you are so inspiring, you are taking a risk, moving forward and I admire your courage”.

I need to hear that sometimes.  We all do.  Because doubt is a killer, it negates the light and the idea that everything is possible.  Every idea has value.  You can’t kill an idea.

Ideas are inspiration and when they are pursued, help us all to change, to grow and to be better than we imagined.

Here are some important reminders of how to stop doubting yourself.

  • When you have an inspiring idea, don’t tell everyone. Don’t listen to other people’s opinion…why? Because most people don’t have the courage to try new things.  They just want to be comfortable, they are looking for the easiest way out.
  • We business builders and dreamers are different. We thrive on inspiration.
  • Our ideas are what us wake up at 5am, meditate, get in touch with ourselves and act upon the inner direction we receive and make connections.
  • We are in touch with our real Self and this is what makes us joyful and willing to work all hours writing blogs, marketing, serving our clients and getting in front of as many people as possible to talk about our new business.
  • We are the leaders. We set an example and we keep on keeping on. Even great leaders have moments of doubt, probably more than anyone else because we are willing to stand up and shine our light on the world.
  • We are bold and committed. We are willing to face the music and hit wrong notes sometimes, that’s what happens when we improvise, we take a risk. Not all notes sound wonderful, every solo isn’t perfect.
  • We practice hard. We try new things, and experiment and give it our all.
  • We don’t listen to doubt, or fight it. Like fear, we embrace it, and do it anyway.
  • We learn to have faith in spite of great odds. We are resolved to keep going.
  • Only 8% of people ever stick with resolutions. But we do.  We are the odd ones, the crazy ones who believe in love, in possibility.  We love ourselves enough to fail and fail again.
  • We move with the guiding force, the inner direction that inspires us. It’s bigger than our little doubting self.  Way bigger.
  • We keep going because it feels good to be connected to people, to be serving in some authentic way that is unique to us.

When you are faced with doubt, here’s what I would say to you:

No one can do what you can do.  You are unique and have a very important role to play on the Earth at this time that no one else can fill.  It’s yours and only you can do it the way you do.  You are here to serve certain people and if you give up, they don’t get what they need. So don’t let your doubt keep them from their dreams.

I truly hope this helps you today to free yourself from those doubts.

I remain ever faithful,

Monica Dubay


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Apr 062016

Do you often feel slightly off?  You were headed in a direction, then one thing seemed to upset the momentum and you felt undermined?  A bit blurred around the edges?

I know, I felt it recently.  I was going strong, had a bunch of new clients show up and was really happy serving them, then, all of a sudden, I’m at a standstill.

I had so much happening, then, it seemed like the flow just dried up.  I didn’t see it coming and felt a bit dismayed.

Guess what?  It happens to all of us, especially when you are first starting out.  It could just be that you need to shift something within you, perhaps a judgment of yourself or fear of failure.  It’s common that when things get slow, you are in fear and don’t realize it.

Here are my 10 tips to getting through lulls in business.

  1. Don’t panic…you are probably growing at a very fast rate and you need some down time to integrate all that is happening. Stay out of fear by breathing deeply and release any self-judgment.
  2. Keep steady, perhaps you need to change something about what you really want to do to bring in more business. One marketing tactic will not suffice…you need an arsenal.  Challenge yourself, what are you afraid to do?  Now plan to do it.
  3. Go meet some new people and reach out to one of them from the meeting. Take a risk and connect with a stranger.  Just ask to meet for coffee to get to know them.  No need to sell them your service, just listen to their situation and focus completely on them.
  4. Take stock of your feelings. Are you angry, getting short with people or is that critic voice in your head screaming at you lately?  When I checked in with myself, I had compromised on an agreement with myself.  I noticed it, and then made excuses out of fear.  Then everything stopped so I could look at where I had compromised myself.  I released the fear and made a decision to stay in integrity with myself.
  5. Make sure you are taking care of what is most important to you. Maybe you need an energy shift in one area of your business.  Take stock, check in with your feelings about what is fun for you, what is challenging, and what could you use help with. Maybe hire an assistant for a task you especially find daunting.  For someone else, it could be fun. Let them do it for you.
  6. Make a list of all the good things that have happened and celebrate this. When you don’t acknowledge a change and growth in business, you are not honoring your work.  You are your own boss, so give yourself a break now.  Take a walk, take a nap.  Put your feet up and feel gratitude for the courage and work it took to get where you are right now.
  7. Get an accountability buddy. Inner commitment to your goals means knowing that through lulls, you will need a plan to stay committed and accountable.  Use a friend who is also growing a new business. Call them every day and check in.  Make sure you keep each other in the loop when fears and doubts come up.  If you are growing, these fears and doubts are part of the landscape, just accept it, but don’t give into them.  You can help each other to find ways to move through them.  Encourage each other to keep moving.
  8. Know you are worth it. Your new business is a passion and requires that you honor it, and stay committed by being true to yourself. Your life’s purpose has meaning, but you have to give it the meaning it has for you.  Honor it, and water it like a new budding seed. Every day.
  9. Forgive yourself for a moment. Maybe you just have to stop long enough to have a breakthrough in consciousness, by forgiving yourself for something not working out the way you planned. For example, I thought people would just renew when their time was up because they had made great progress…but no, they didn’t always.  They were happy with the changes and just wanted to coast for a while and get back to me later.  This surprised me because I always want more growth and I know that if I commit to 6 months, I will have a much bigger shift than if I just do one month.  But not everyone is like me. I don’t take it personally, it’s not about me.
  10. Set your 90 Day Goals every month. See what goals you reached over the last month, then revisit what is important to you now.  It may have changed from when you originally wrote them down.  Notice what has happened and how far you have actually come.  Celebrate the good things that have happened because you stuck with it.

When you give yourself time to grow, to keep in alignment with your real feelings, and be truly honest with yourself, you will save yourself a lot of time and anguish.  Not being honest with yourself can be very debilitating for your business.  Don’t deny yourself your feelings.  Honor them, trust them, and listen to them.  They need your attention.

Learning to love ourselves is a vital part of this new period of empowerment.  We all need to encourage each other to take stock, take quiet time, to really listen to our inner voices as we grow into this new era of self-empowered living.

Hope this helps!

Monica Dubay

Founder, Heal Your Mind Heal Your Life Transformation Program


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